Things that made my toddler mad

~ Some crazy teenager was driving too fast.

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~ I explained that the round pellet I made her drop was not, in fact, goat food.

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~ This was the last time she was allowed on Skype.

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~ I caught her sniffing the cart wipes.

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~ I refused to put her in the pool to pet the penguins.

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Don’t worry, she got to hug this statue.

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~ I took too long making her lunch.

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~ After five minutes of her whining, I let her eat butter on its own. She wasn’t mad until AFTER tasting it.

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~ I let the dog help her find her ball.

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~ I took her cart away after she rammed it into my heel three times.

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~ I wasn’t pushing “Baby Paul” high enough (he’s in the swing on the left).

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~ She wanted to be the pig.

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~ The fireman refused to turn on the firetruck.

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I wouldn’t let her climb this playground Ultimate Ninja Warrior training apparatus on her own.

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~ I told her that this didn’t “count” as going pee on the potty.

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~ I told her the cat was done playing.

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~ I called her boat a “toy.” It is NOT a toy.

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~ She realized the nail polish bottle was empty. But not until she’d done all ten toes.

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~ I told her she wouldn’t fit in this box. She proved me wrong.

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Same with this one.

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~ I didn’t stop her from eating the paint.

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Or from putting yogurt up her nose.

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Or from painting her face with spaghetti.

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~ I found her top-secret hiding place.

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This one too.

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And this one.

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~ I stopped her from riding the cat.

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~ The cat didn’t get a timeout for biting Samantha, but Samantha did for biting me. Don’t worry, I made it right.

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~ I wouldn’t let her go to the store wearing only her Dad’s shoes.

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Or mine.

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~ I told her she had to share her cake.

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~ I pointed out that her glasses were on upside down.

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~ Made her do her own dishes.

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~ I explained that not everyone is a Jayhawk fan. She told me she was too young for such devastating news.

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~ She had to take turns driving the car.

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~ I wouldn’t let her hug the other end of the goat. She tried, twice.

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