~ When you studied for two hours and got the same grade as
your classmate who studied for forty hours. Either lie and say you studied a
lot or just keep it to yourself.
~ When your classmate, who is trembling and looks like a deer in the
headlights, asks you if she looks nervous before attempting a new procedure on
~ When eating lunch during clinicals and your classmate looks down at her shirt
and says, "This spot is chocolate, right?"
~ When your classmate, who just put the suppository in the wrong hole, asks
you, "Do you think our instructor thinks I’m an idiot?"
~ At the end of your clinical from Hell, when the charge nurse says, "We
have some of the best nurses in the country, don’t we?"
~ When your friend just finished her presentation in front of the class and she
asks, "Did I have this in my teeth the whole time?" Say, "No,
but your zipper was down."
~ When a patient asks, "How many times have you done this before?"
Either don’t answer until you are done, or don’t mention that your experiences
were all on mannequins (or hot dogs).
~ When someone considering going into nursing asks you what your first day of
clinicals was like, and your first patient just happened to be a dead body, you might not want to mention that fact. It tends to scare people
~ When a male psych patient asks if you can tell that he is pregnant with an
alien’s offspring. Actually, I have no idea what to say in this
~ When your instructor asks, "Do you need experience in cleaning up a
patient with C-Diff?"
~ When a patient asks, "Is this the weirdest thing you have ever
seen?" Always say "no," especially if it really is the weirdest
thing you’ve ever seen.